YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE WHOLE
You do not have to be perfect, in order to be whole.
One of the definitions of perfection is: “the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.”
Even though we know that it is impossible for our lives to be perfect by definition, we still find ourselves trying to make things right, even when the things we are trying to change are out of our control. We still spend more time reflecting on the flaws and the defects in our stories than we spend reflecting on our lives as a whole.
Perfectionism feeds into the lie that “if I do everything right, I will be safe.” It feeds the limiting belief that if you don’t get certain things exactly right in life, something is wrong with you:
Unless you...
- know everything there is to know
- are considered valuable to all the important people
- don’t rock the boat or speak up too much
- adequately prepare for every possible outcome
- make sure everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be
- are seen as distinct from the others in the crowd
- stay positive because that’s what is expected of you...
then you won’t be loved in this world for who you are.
The list above is not exhaustive, but they are just a few examples of how even when we have good intentions, we can easily slip into traps of trying to free our lives of every flaw, instead of trying to free our minds from the lie that made us believe our flaws define us.
This is where wholeness comes in. One of the definitions for wholeness is: “the state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity.” The word “whole” by itself means “all of; entire.”
You are a whole person. Not a could-have-been-near-perfect person had you made different choices in your life. Your flaws are a part of you, and so are your strengths. Your fears are a part of you, and so is your bravery, your faith, and your resilience to keep living. Yes, you have made mistakes. And you have also made really good decisions. Even when they were small and seemingly insignificant, they counted toward meaningful growth in your life.
You may not be able to pursue perfection or near perfection. You may not be able to get everything in your life to line up the way you want it to. You may not even be able to make sense of everything in the past that you could wish you could change. But you can make the choice to see: you are whole.
Pursue wholeness over perfection. When you look in the mirror, make sure you’re looking at the whole picture. More than you notice the one thing you wish you could change, notice that you are a whole human being who has made it another day, by grace. Carry this mindset with you as you look back over your life. Last year may have been a rough year, but it was also a whole year that you lived through. Your last job may not have been what you wanted, but it was a whole experience you learned from. Your life may not be exactly where you thought it would be, but this is still a whole life that is still worth being grateful for.
Word of the day: Whole (adj): something constituting a complex unity : a coherent system or organization of parts fitting or working together as one (Merriam-Webster)
Affirmation: The pieces of my story fit and work together as one.
Journal: How did the pieces of last year make up your story
More in this week's series called "You Are Awakening", only with a subscription in the Storyteller App.
Sincerely,
Morgan Harper Nichols
@thestorytellerco
@morganharpernichols
