ANY LITTLE PROGRESS YOU’VE MADE IN THIS DIRECTION MATTERS MORE THAN YOU KNOW

At times, it can be challenging to recognize our growth as it happens. However, there are subtle ways in which we may have been growing over the past few months or years that might be harder to notice. These subtle signs of growth are important to acknowledge, as they contribute to our overall development. The following list is not meant for anyone to review with the expectation of remembering growth in all these areas. Rather, it serves as mental prompts to help you recognize your own growth, even if it's just in one aspect.

Perhaps, over the past year…

1 - You have allowed yourself to change your mind:

You've been growing in courage to allow yourself to change your mind, and by doing so, you've been embracing the nonlinear nature of your story. There was a time when expectations you had on yourself didn’t leave much room for grace. However, you've been realizing that if the goals and plans you had for the next few years are changing, that doesn’t mean the future can be beautiful and meaningful in new ways. You may not know exactly what lies ahead, but even in the smallest ways, you’ve been allowing yourself to at least begin to practice loosening your grip, wherever you can, however you can. Even in the most subtle ways, you’ve been learning to let go.

2 - You have started to notice what is and isn’t working for you:

You've grown in awareness of how to, at least, try to communicate what isn't working for you. There was a time when you used to go along just to meet expectations and avoid being seen as "too much." Perhaps you received the message from the world around you that if you asked for what you needed, you were being difficult or asking for too much. This may have led to a space where you don't even know what your needs are. However, you're learning that you are worthy of the journey of finding out. It might take time to untangle your thoughts, but now you know that you're allowed to try.

3 - You have learned to give yourself time

You’ve been growing in your capacity to feel what you need to feel and take the time you need to heal. Perhaps, grief or loss has found you and has left you feeling pressuring to “get over it” or move through the experience in the same way other people have. However, slowly, you’ve been realizing that no comparing yourself to others extends to the way you process your emotions, your thoughts, and your experiences. You’ve learned that of course you can learn from others, but it doesn’t mean that you’ve failed if you’re moving through the aftermath of loss in different ways from others…even if those other people have been through different things.

4 - You have learned to redefine strength 

You've grown in realizing that you're allowed to redefine strength. You've begun to understand that, even though you've had to be strong for so long, you are allowed to explore what it means to be strong beyond simply needing to survive. You're realizing that bold, gritty strength has taught you a lot, but there's something gentle strength can teach you too, and you are free to desire that. Perhaps this gentle strength looks like saying "no" without explaining yourself and then proceeding with your day. This could be a gentler form of strength because others may not have even noticed how much strength it took for you to say "no," even if it was over something small. The same could be true for taking time to rest. Maybe you've been going and going, and rest doesn't seem like something that's allowed. Any moment you find yourself able to rest is a kind of strength that others might not view as strong, but it's a strength that you have been practicing becoming more acquainted with. You've been learning to withstand the pressure to keep going and actually take a pause, even when you don't feel like you're allowed to. Any little progress you’ve made in this direction matters more than you know.

These are just a few examples of many. However, perhaps, they can serve as starting points for realizing the ways that you have been growing and embracing the process in ways that it might take time to realize. 

More in this week's series called "Embracing the Process in Gentle Ways", only with a subscription in the Storyteller App.

More tomorrow…
Sincerely,
Morgan Harper Nichols
@thestorytellerco
@morganharpernichols